Having the Courage to Get Found
“And so say I. To all those who have hid too good. Get found, kid! Olly-olly-oxen-free.” - Robert Fulghum, "All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten"
The essence of the PeerRxMed process is regularly and intentionally connecting with other colleagues in order to support each other in the challenging times, celebrate with each other in the good times, and travel alongside each other in the times in between. To do so requires both vulnerability and receptivity. Neither of these are qualities that many physicians (or humans for that matter) find easy to express.
So, when a colleague in our midst courageously models this in a way that is accessible, it provides a “teachable moment” for us all. Over the past few weeks one of our beloved Geriatricians here in Roanoke, Brian Unwin, who is also nationally known for his teaching excellence, was diagnosed with a yet unidentified GI mass that was concerning enough that he underwent a Whipple procedure on Wednesday (with some initially hopeful news regarding the cause).
What has been most notable for me about Brian’s healthcare journey has been the openness (CaringBridge), faith-fullness, optimism, courage, and even humor with which he has shared. For those who know him, this does not come as a total surprise. He has always been one who is willing to push a bit against the prevailing status quo and conventional wisdom of our profession.
At the same time, for anyone, let alone a colleague, to be this open regarding hardship and tragedy still seems extraordinary, as it is not what most of us have seen modeled, nor is it likely what most of our normal instincts would have us do. Withdrawal into “hiding” would be more the norm. In his modeling of greater openness, I have found myself inspired and am left with an even deeper understanding of what “help-seeking” and connection might look like when one is facing a personal crisis.
In an e-mail that he sent last month when he was first hospitalized, Brian closed with the sentiments below. I would encourage you to read the brief story "Get Found" that he references. In doing so, be ready for your heart to open a bit wider, and perhaps yearn for more “sardines friends.”
We’re much better together.
“Cyndy and I won't be facing this in a 'shy and hard to reach' fashion. We feel loved and supported, and the company and spirit you share truly lifts us …. Take a moment to read "Get Found", from Robert Fulghum's book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. We will be approaching this challenge ahead by playing sardines. .
Join us.
I (we) love you all,
Brian”