The Art of Not Taking Ourselves Too Seriously
“Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” - Unknown
In our work, we are trained to get things right; the right diagnosis, the right plan, the right words at the right time. If we’re not careful, that responsibility can slowly harden into a subtle (or not so subtle) pressure toward always feeling the need to be right. And yet, among trusted colleagues and close friends, there is a counterbalance that invites us to loosen our grip. It takes the form of playful mirroring, or even gentle teasing, that reminds us, with warmth rather than sharpness, that we are so very human.
There’s a colleague I’ve worked with for many years who has a gift for this with me. After a long day, I was recounting, perhaps a bit too proudly, of a patient case that involved an astute diagnosis. He listened, nodded, and said, “So… you eventually did what the resident suggested three hours earlier?” We both laughed. It wasn’t dismissive or cutting. It was accurate, and disarming. In that moment, any creeping sense of self-importance softened. What remained was a playful connection around the shared reminder that our “clinical genius” is often just plain good fortune.
At the same time, what feels playful to one person can feel painful to another. Many of us carry earlier experiences where humor, or teasing, landed as criticism or a put-down and caused us embarrassment, or even shame. That history matters. It shapes how we receive these moments now. Psychology research offers a helpful distinction: affiliative teasing builds connection, while some other forms create distance. The difference lies in mutuality, trust, and awareness. Healthy playful mirroring is reciprocal and grounded in relationship. It tends to focus on what is safe to hold lightly, such as a shared quirk or harmless habit, rather than something tender or identity-defining.
When it is done well, playful teasing can help us relax into our imperfections without shame. It keeps us grounded and reminds us that competence and fallibility coexist. It’s the same colleague mentioned above with whom I now exchange lighthearted comments about our sometimes less-than-fashionable clothing choices. Because of our mutual trust and respect, these moments don’t diminish—they connect. In a profession where seriousness is often necessary, they can act as a release valve, reducing stress while strengthening trust.
This week, consider the role of playful teasing in your own circles. Who are the people with whom you can laugh at yourself a little? Who helps you stay grounded, not by pulling you down, but by keeping you real? Even having one such person in your life can be a gift. What kinds of teasing feel connecting to you, and what kinds do not? And perhaps just as importantly, how do you offer that same gift to others in a way that deepens your bond? Not everyone experiences teasing as connection, and that matters. But when done with loving care, it can help create space where we don’t have to pretend to be perfect. And in that space, we become more bonded, more human, and better for the work we share. No one should care—or take themselves too seriously—alone.