Too Young to Be Too Sure
“If you’re still living, you’re too young to be too sure of yourself.” — MG
The words above came to me recently, though not exactly a quote since, as far as I know, no one actually said them. Yet they captured something I’ve been thinking about lately. We often associate certainty with maturity. With enough years, enough experience, enough successes and failures, surely we should have figured some things out. And hopefully we have. But I wonder if one of the greater risks of getting older isn’t knowing too little but becoming too certain about what we think we know.
I have beliefs today that I once would have rejected, questions about things I once considered settled, and greater appreciation for perspectives I once dismissed. I’d like to think that’s growth rather than inconsistency. Yet I also recognize how easy it is to become attached to the person I’ve already become. My experiences, expertise, values, and accumulated stories provide a comfortable framework for understanding the world. The problem comes when that framework becomes a fortress, protecting what I already believe from anything that might require me to reconsider it.
Psychologists sometimes describe the alternative as intellectual humility: recognizing that our knowledge and beliefs may be incomplete or mistaken and therefore remaining willing to consider new evidence and perspectives. Humility doesn’t require abandoning conviction. We can believe something deeply while still leaving the door unlocked. What might I be missing? What if there is another way of seeing this? What could change my mind? These aren’t signs of weak convictions. They are signs that learning is still possible.
Perhaps this matters most in our relationships. When I become completely certain, not only about an issue, but sometimes about another person, curiosity disappears. I may listen respectfully, yet only for the opportunity to respond or for evidence confirming what I already believe. Genuine openness asks something more of me. It asks me to consider that you may see something I don’t. Your perspective becomes something I can explore rather than something I must defend against. Openness, then, isn’t simply an intellectual posture. It is a relational one. It says: There is still something I can learn from you. And perhaps even: I trust you enough to let what you see influence what I see.
This week, notice where certainty has crept into your conversations, particularly with your PeerRx partner or another colleague. Choose something you feel strongly about and ask yourself: What am I certain of? What might I be missing? What would I have to learn to change my mind? Better yet, invite someone you trust to show you what you may not be seeing, and notice whether you are truly listening for the possibility of being changed. We don’t have to surrender our convictions to remain open. We simply need to remember that as long as we’re still living, we’re still becoming. And that means we’re all too young to be too sure of ourselves.