No One Should Struggle Alone
“We need to be better at helping each other.” Physician colleague who came within minutes of committing suicide
The work we do as physicians and healthcare clinicians is deeply meaningful—and deeply challenging. Each year at this time I’m reminded of colleagues who, overwhelmed by emotional strain, reached out in desperation. One story that continues to stay with me is of a colleague who, eight years ago, came within minutes of ending her life. Since then, she has shared with me her painful journey toward healing.
When we last spoke, she was far enough away from that intensely dark and emotionally raw time to have gained deeper insight. One of the things she told me (and has given me permission to share) speaks directly to why it is so essential to have a buddy who knows us well and understands what it is like to travel this professional journey: “I’m not the kind of person who would ever consider something like suicide – so I thought. But I broke, and the level of emotional pain I was feeling is difficult to describe. I believe they wanted to help, but none of them seemed comfortable in reaching out to me and when they did, it was easy to push them away.” She concluded, “We need to be better at helping each other.”
This year, National Physician Suicide Awareness Day falls on Tuesday, September 16th. Since 2018, this day has served as a call to action: to break down stigma, open conversation, recognize warning signs, and learn to approach colleagues who may be at risk. It is tragic that such a day is needed. Yet statistics tell us that, on average, one physician dies by suicide every day. These numbers don’t even include NP, PA, PhD, PharmD, Allied health, and nursing teammates—many of whom struggle mightily as well. Yet the 2023 Medscape Physician Suicide Report found that while one in ten physicians have had thoughts of suicide, 40% told no one.
Psychiatrist Michael Myers, MD, author of The Physician as Patient, reminds us that when someone discloses suicidal thoughts—or even just emotional distress—the first step is simple: thank them. Say, “I’m sure that wasn’t easy. I appreciate that you trust me. Let’s talk more.” Then ask what you can do to help. On the other hand, if you notice a colleague in distress, don’t ignore it. Reach out, share your concern, and ask directly whether they’ve considered suicide.
The pressures we face in healthcare are extraordinary. That’s why PeerRxMed exists: to ensure that “no one cares alone.” Each of us needs at least one trusted person who will walk with us in good times and bad—someone who knows us well enough to notice when we’re not okay, and who is willing, even insistent, about getting us the support we need. The stakes are simply too high to leave this to chance. Let’s commit to being better at helping each other. If you don’t have a PeerRx buddy, get one—and if you do, encourage others to join. This is too important to put off. The life we save could be someone close to us. It could even be our own.