We Are Better Together
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”— Brené Brown
“Let’s Connect!” It’s a simple, well-intentioned request in the midst of a profession where we too often run on parallel tracks. And those parallel tracks can leave us feeling disconnected, even as we work in close proximity for much of our professional days and lives. If this is your experience, please know that you are not alone. And this disconnection, if allowed to fester, can quickly lead to loneliness.
A recent national survey of over 1,000 family medicine educators found that nearly 28% reported considerable loneliness, with even higher rates among women and underrepresented groups. Let that settle in for a moment. These are not isolated individuals. These are clinicians immersed in human interaction all day long while caring, teaching, leading. They are bright, accomplished, admired. And yet, in their inner thoughts, many are likely feeling, “I’m not sure anyone really knows me here.”
Here’s where these findings become even more important, and perhaps uncomfortable. The same study found that physicians who felt lonely themselves were less likely to talk with patients about loneliness, less likely to build community partnerships, and less likely to teach about it. In other words, loneliness doesn’t just affect how we feel, it shapes how we show up. It narrows our field of connection. It takes it beyond being simply a personal concern to identifying a systemic gap.
The UCLA 3-item loneliness questions used in this study offer a simple lens—not to label, but to notice.
How often do you feel you lack companionship?
How often do you feel left out?
How often do you feel isolated from others?
These aren’t just patient questions. They are colleague questions. They are team questions. They are hallway questions waiting to be asked, not simply in a survey, but within our professional relationships. What if, instead of waiting for connection to happen or nurturing those we have, we became curators of it?
So here is a gentle challenge: If you don’t have a colleague you are regularly checking in with, find one. Almost 1/3 of us are desperately longing for that connection. If you have that person but are not regularly connecting, recommit to doing so. And if you are regularly connecting with someone, take it one step further by becoming someone who helps others connect. Notice who is always “fine.” Invite one person into a slightly deeper conversation. Normalize naming disconnection without trying to fix it immediately. Create small, repeatable moments, such as a brief text, a shared walk, a brief connection at lunch, a “how are you really?” that lingers just a bit longer.
With so many of us feeling disconnected, we have a culture problem. And culture changes through micro-moments of courage and care. Because the data are clear. The paradox is real. And the opportunity is right in front of us. No one should care alone. When any of us realize that, we are all so much better for it.